Sometimes It’s Too Hard

I have yet another month where I haven’t successfully finished any projects. It’s taken all of my energy, physical and emotional, to crawl out bed. I haven’t even succeeded in that some days this last month; some days it was too hard to even think about getting out of bed.

I’ve been in a mild arthritis flare. My anxiety levels have been high. I don’t even know what the depression has been doing, other than trying to go unnoticed but whispering behind my back the entire time. I don’t remember where I was going with this.

Because of the arthritis flare, I couldn’t finish the tulip. The thread is too tiny. I had no desire to start working with the brown and cream yarn. I didn’t even read much this month. If I wasn’t doing what I needed then I was in my bed.

I did make it out to the Kentucky Sheep and Fiber Festival. I went with another crafty friend, or I wouldn’t have left the house. We’d made these plans weeks in advance. I know that’s the only reason I actually made it, despite how much I wanted to go. We walked around and stared at everything, talked to people, and collected business cards. It took a couple of hours, and I was exhausted. After we paused for food, we went back and visited some booths. I bought a beautiful batt to spin, an adorable needle felted rabbit who is now known as Chai, and couple other little things for the crafty stuff. I spent the next day in bed barely able to move.

The project I started is a little sling bag for an aluminum bottle I have.  I’m half double crocheting the entire thing and making it up as I go along. I’m sure there’s a pattern out there, but I couldn’t be bothered to look for one.

I started writing a few days ago, but after a few hours, I only had a hundred words or so.  I feel better, but I don’t feel like my normal self. I took no pictures of the little bit of crocheting I started nor at the Fiber Festival. It hasn’t been a great month for my goals.

I don’t know what next month will look like. I have no idea which project I’ll focus on- if I focus on any.